Relationships

A CHILLED-OUT girlfriend has no concerns about her boyfriend socialising with other women, as long as they are four sizes larger than her.

A MARRIED couple reaffirming their commitment have written a ceremony that reflects their current attitude towards each other.

A WOMAN has proudly placed a big tick next to the most tedious task on her monthly to-do list, it has emerged. 

AN evening with a giggly couple who are ridiculously into each other is horrific and sickening. Here’s the sort of crap you can expect from these freaks.

PASSIONATE lovemaking often leaves time for your mind to wander, and to worry about these random and unrelated concerns.

A BOYFRIEND is embarking on his fourth day of performing cunnilingus on a partner who believes she is almost there.

PROPOSING? Why not maximise the humiliation of rejection by asking for her hand in marriage in these locations?

THEIR bedroom was big enough for a settee. Yours was barely big enough for a bed. For that reason, and these, they will never be forgiven.

THINKING of making idle chat? Be careful. If you use any of these phrases, you might inadvertently be asking someone if they’d like to have sex.

YES, I’ve gone up to £14.73, but something else has changed. We used to be so happy together - practically inseparable. Now you’re so distant, and I can’t understand why.