Lifestyle

NEVER achieved much? Imagine you’re special and boost your self-esteem by taking a weird amount of pride in these non-achievements.

YOU’VE got a new puppy. Should your employer give you three weeks paid leave to enjoy learning to live and grow together? F**k they should.

KIDS been quiet for five minutes? Cause a massive childcare emergency by attempting to do one of these simple things.

A SINGLE man who lives by himself owns and does all his cooking with one single pan, it has emerged.

THAT thing you used to have? Selling for a grand on eBay now. If only you'd kept it, along with all this shit.

A WOMAN has unleashed Armageddon by removing herself from a WhatsApp group for school mums.

AS a child did you think you’d die if you didn’t own certain items of tat? Here are the things you pestered your parents endlessly to get.

A TEENAGE boy has announced his intention to have a radical growth spurt that will render his school uniform redundant by half-term.

ARE you worryingly close to the age of 50? Here’s how you’ll suddenly realise you’re really quite old.

ASIDE from feeling superior, the best perk of being vegetarian is repeatedly being asked these inane questions...