Lifestyle

A MAN is dismayed that hair is sprouting from every orifice and inch of his body except the one place he wants it to.

MILK. Four pints of green-capped, semi-skimmed, bog-standard milk, so no need for a shopping list. Except here’s what you left with instead.

SOME people – usually second or, laughably, third or fourth children – challenge the supremacy of the first-born. Let’s lay this to rest.

A FATHER has remained silent during his daughter’s story of a new purchase before ominously asking how much she paid for it.

IT would not be Halloween without terrible or inappropriate costumes. Here are the worst offenders you'll see in 2021.

A WEIRD family has been spotted actually cooking and eating the contents of their decorative Halloween pumpkins.

THINKING of a night out despite being middle aged? Here's how you will be reminded you are too old for such an activity.

GOING out on the pull is a myth created by lads' magazines. Here's what really happens when you try to find a stranger to have sex with:

THE social hierarchy of your school days was insanely dumb. If you didn't have any of these items you were at the bottom of the heap.

A MAN who addresses other men by calling them ‘bruv’ has not got the required personal characteristics to carry it off.