Lifestyle

ARE you off out with a friend who’s drop-dead gorgeous in a way you will never be? Here’s what to expect when you find yourself playing the ugly mate.

FORGET Covid and Brexit - it’s the little things that make us totally lose our shit on a daily basis. Like these:  

DO you wake up in a cold sweat, imagining you heard one of the many awful sounds of waking life? These will ruin your beauty sleep.

A MAN and his daughter have been left reeling after completing a driving lesson without any yelling incidents.

KIDS will hate the educational activities you have planned for half-term. However they will lovingly remember these lowbrow experiences forever.

SOME modern phrases are so godawful they make you want to squirm yourself inside out. Here are the worst offenders.

THE October half-term is here. Where are you going for another doomed attempt at a holiday? Try these hellholes.

NEVER achieved much? Imagine you’re special and boost your self-esteem by taking a weird amount of pride in these non-achievements.

YOU’VE got a new puppy. Should your employer give you three weeks paid leave to enjoy learning to live and grow together? F**k they should.

KIDS been quiet for five minutes? Cause a massive childcare emergency by attempting to do one of these simple things.