Lifestyle

A MAN with a massive house, a big car and a f**kton of cash has told everyone that money is not the source of all happiness.

A TEENAGER'S parents would tell her to stop staring at her phone if doing so was not the height of hypocrisy.

PARTY bags are nothing more than sacks of useless shit. Here are their crappy contents, and the order you'll secretly bin them.

HOSTING guests this weekend? Hide these shameful possessions before they realise what a sick weirdo you really are.

A WOMAN eating 360g of chocolate in one sitting foolishly believes the action doesn’t reflect her overall life choices.

THE last few cheeky gits on furlough have been told to straighten up and get back to bloody work like the rest of us.

DAD here. If you’re running out of light bulbs and bin-liners it’s because you didn’t stock up. Here’s how I’ll get through the post-Brexit years with tinned sweetcorn to spare.

BEEN through an experience that was abjectly shit, but you’re trying to spin it? Here are five useful euphemisms for when you’ve been through the wringer.

THANKS to the miracle of television nobody needs hobbies. Yet people still piss away their free time on these dull activities:

YOU have a nice flat with framed stuff on the walls, like in films. But why the f**k did you go and frame that?