A WOMAN has promised to be in her perfect bra size as soon as she is cool with a shop assistant prodding and lifting her boobs.
Though Eleanor Shaw has long suffered the discomfort of itchy straps, tight underwires, and cup spillage, she is no more comfortable with the idea of a personal bra fitting in her local M&S where she buys sandwiches.
She said: “I’m uncomfortable taking my top off alone in a changing room, let alone while a stern-yet-mumsy woman goes at my tits with a tape measure murmuring ‘big girl, aren’t we?’
“It’s not exactly like getting your feet meaured at Clarks, is it? It’s deeply intimate.
“All my friends who’ve done it rave about how well their bras fit now, ’Oh, I never would have known I was actually a 34G’, bollocks, skimming over the fact they had to do a tittie show for Deborah in womenswear.
“Would blokes go get their cocks measured for better fitting, more supporting jockey trunks? Would they f**k.”
