Lifestyle

Pretend you're a born again Christian: How to fend off a chatty shop assistant

THERE’S nothing worse than minding your own business in a shop and an assistant having the audacity to engage with you. Here’s how to deter them effectively.

Woman mourns only pair of jeans that truly understood her

A WOMAN is devastated about the untimely passing of the only pair of jeans that she has ever truly loved.

Middle-class family builds gingerbread house and rents it to students

AN entrepreneurial middle-class couple have turned the gingerbread house they built with their children into an investment opportunity.

Family gives in and puts heating on and it's still too bloody cold

A FAMILY who gave in and put the central heating on are horrified to find their house remains too cold for habitation.

Electric blankets and other things old people weren't wrong about

OH how you used to laugh at the outdated ways old people kept warm. But now, as the cold snap bites, you realise they were right about these methods.

Postcards, newspapers, Argos catalogues: The insane places you used to find porn

BEFORE the internet gave us an infinite variety of porn, you had to scour some unlikely places to get your fix. Such as these.

Unemployed 29-year-old increasingly sceptical about making Forbes 30 under 30 list

A BONE-IDLE 29-year-old with no experience or prospects is beginning to have serious doubts he will appear on Forbes’s prestigious 30 Under 30 list.

Owners of massive open-plan Grand Designs-style house f**king freezing

A COUPLE in a wonderfully open-plan home with double-height ceilings and huge glass windows are freezing their bollocks off.

The pros and pros of not going ice skating

BEEN invited to navigate a pop-up public ice rink on thin metal blades? Here’s why it’s always best to point blank refuse.

How is your family pathetically competing for warmth?

THE cold snap is here, but there isn’t enough heating to go around. Here are the desperate ways your family will be competing for warmth this winter.