Lifestyle

Center Parcs adds backtracking fee to the bill

Center Parcs is to charge guests a backtracking fee after deciding it will stay open on Monday, it has been confirmed.

Great white sharks, and other things less dangerous than a hungry woman

THEY say hell hath no fury like a woman scorned, but a woman in need of a good meal is even worse. Here are some things that are considerably nicer to encounter.

99 per cent of lives continuing entirely as normal

MORE than 99 per cent of British lives have unfolded with breathtaking normality since last Thursday evening, ordinary people have confirmed.

Man calls off night out with unpopular friend because we're in mourning

A MAN has used this period of national mourning as an excuse to call off a night out with a friend he did not want to meet.

'My joke about current events was tasteful but you, someone I don't like, have crossed a line'

WHILE many jokes about current events have successfully walked the line between compassion and humour, I’m afraid you – who I do not like – have gone too far.

The kitchen's in the front room: the joys of apartment living

APARTMENTS are an almost affordable way to live by yourself, as long as you don't mind major compromises to your quality of life.

Man planning his own 21-gun salute with airbombs while hammered

A MAN is planning his own 21-gun salute to the Queen which will take place at midnight, in his garden, blind drunk and lighting fireworks.

The telltale signs you're less attractive than you think

EVERYONE has a vague idea of how attractive they are. But is there a chance you’ve wildly overestimated your hotness? Look out for these clues.

Man's natural circadian rhythms say he should stay up to 3am gaming

A MAN'S inbuilt 24-hour cycle has guided him to stay up playing League of Legends until at least 3am, he has confirmed.

Six Disney characters that made you grow up to be an arsehole

DID you love Disney as a kid? Have you absorbed the House of Mouse’s moral lessons completely the wrong way? Are you as loathsome as these pricks?