Lifestyle

A COUPLE are trying to remember how they spent weekends before they were entirely given over to the demands of their children.

DOING a ‘number two’ is an unavoidable bodily function. But sadly not all toilet trips can be relaxing moments of deep thought. Here are five particularly stressful shitting scenarios.

MOST of the time your face looks relatively normal, if unattractive. So why does it make these weird expressions in front of a camera?

HOME can be a confusing place for men, who find themselves surrounded by shit they cannot comprehend. Here, bewildered bloke Martin Bishop explains.

WITH the mourning period officially over, a normal life of self-abuse can resume. You are now cleared to do these things.

FEELING cheated because doing anything fun on your day off will be frowned upon by the mourning police? You might just get away with these.

A MAN who has emerged from the lying-in-state queue is struggling to get used to normal civilian life, it has emerged.

A MOTHER who claims she just wants her children to be happy is also secretly hoping they manage to become genius supermodels, it has emerged.

AS the cost of living crisis bites, we're all looking for money saving tips. These will guarantee you’ll end up spending more than you would have in the first place.

WITH only millionaires able to afford petrol and Lurpak more expensive than a coke habit, the cost of living crisis is here to stay. But one group is being hit particularly hard: women. Here's how...