ONLY children and the religious believe in mysterious forces that control your destiny. If you’re a rational adult it’s time to grow up and accept these superstitions are laughable.
Friday 13th
Supposedly the unluckiest date, but how bad can a Friday be? Even if everything goes wrong and you fall down a hole it’s still Saturday tomorrow, meaning you get to lie in and do f**k all. Tuesdays, however, are the grimmest day of the week and they happen every seven days. Ward them off by sacrificing a goat. Or just pull a sickie.
Breaking a mirror
No, you will not be blighted with seven years of bad luck. You might have shards of glass embedded in your skin though, which is a much more pressing concern that can be blamed on physics. If you want genuine misfortune for seven years, get a black mark on your credit rating then try to buy a house.
Knocking on wood
Wood is good for making coffee tables and fuelling fires. It is less capable of protecting you from the evil intent of the cosmos. Giving wood a light rap as you outline your plans will make bugger all difference to the result and carries the risk of giving you a splinter, which would be considered unlucky if luck existed.
Walking under a ladder
Is walking under a ladder unlucky, or an inherently stupid thing to do? It’s the latter. But people who believe in crystals and take star signs seriously like to imagine that ladders are a malevolent force hell-bent on bringing catastrophe. Rational adults on the other hand believe in falling paint cans and trowels.
Getting shat on by a bird
How is a bird taking a dump on your head a good thing? The only positive side effect is it gives other people something to laugh at, but that doesn’t help you as you frantically try to wipe it off. Even if you buy a winning lottery ticket shortly after getting shat on, that can be chalked up to something called ‘coincidence’.
