Lifestyle

AN organised man has already purchased all of his Christmas gifts to himself, he has confirmed.

SPENT so long repeating total bullshit that you’re now convinced it’s true and outraged if you’re doubted? None of these have any basis in fact.

A WOMAN who has already draped every available surface in her house with fairy lights is struggling to add more for Christmas.

BIG festive lights switch-on tonight? Find out which reluctant C-lister you'll get doing the honours.

THE most important couple on the planet have decided their wedding celebrations cannot possibly be limited to a single day.

SHOULD you be overjoyed that house prices have hit a two-year low, or is your life no longer worth living? Find out with our quiz.

WERE you desperately trying to impress your peers as an idiot child? Here’s some of the implausible shit you claimed to have done in the playground.

A PAIR of unmoving, sexless lumps buried beneath multiple layers of blankets and clothing were once man and wife, it is believed.

GOING away this weekend? With people who earn way more than you? Survive the ordeal without losing face or going bankrupt.

BUDGET ranges sound like an excellent option in an economic crisis. Prepare for a rude awakening as you remember why you paid more for the better stuff in the first place.