Lifestyle

WANT to buy a house but can't face the gruelling process of applying for a mortgage? Try these incredibly difficult activities that are still easier than doing all that paperwork.

WANT to amuse your children for up to 300 seconds? Buy them one of these hot items:

A WOMAN has explained to her husband and two sons that the downstairs toilet is not suitable for them to do shits in.

DO you frequently need to pretend to understand things at work or at home? Here’s how to nod along convincingly even though you haven’t got a clue, as usual.

TOO young for a vaccine yet but actually deep into middle age? Here’s how to ignore annoying reality and convince yourself being slightly shy of 50 is practically being 25.

IT’S difficult knowing where to put your savings when interest rates can earn you up to 20p every few months. Here are five places to keep your cash for a larger return.

A WOMAN who spilt a full pint of milk onto carpet has set fire to her own home rather than deal with cleaning up the f**king mess.

DO you still have feelings of bitterness and resentment at not being bought certain highly desirable toys as a child? Read this list as a form of therapy.

BORED out of your mind? Starved of tittle-tattle? Here’s how to experience the incredible high of hearing gossip while you're shut indoors.

A WOMAN who has been called selfish for choosing not to have children has happily confirmed that that was the whole point of her decision.