Lifestyle

WANT to enjoy the smugness associated with abstinence but also can’t really be arsed? This year there are several things you can give up without even trying.

ARE you a woman who’s planning on having a child at some point? Here are some ages to have one at and why society will judge you for all of them. 

HAVE you got Lionel Messi as your Twitter pic? Are you always the top replier to Piers Morgan? Here’s how your online presence can reveal you are in fact a raging simpleton.

A WOMAN is pining for the days when she could visit other people’s houses and make highly critical observations about them.

A MAN has found himself attracted to atheism because of the opportunities to be insufferably smug and patronising.

THE suggestion has been made, no doubt by some ignoramus at the BBC, that no holidays means no visiting our Cornish bolthole. Poppycock. They’re entirely different. 

NEED to scrape together a whopping great deposit for a house? Save tens of thousands of pounds instantly with these tips.

YOU want a holiday, but on the other hand you might die and infect lots of other people in the process. It’s quite the dilemma. Take our quiz and see if you should go.

SWAPPING urban life for the slow pace of the country? Worried that the bracing scent of fresh manure will make you right-wing?

HOW many people you’ve shagged exactly equates to your worth as a human. Rate yourself on our scale to find out if you are a sexual failure or an amoral slag.