Lifestyle

Dog sinking its teeth into your ankle 'just playing', owner reassures

THE owner of the dog that is currently biting your ankle quite hard has clarified that her pet is, in fact, ‘really friendly’.

Remember late-night soft porn on Channel 5? A guide to 00s nostalgia

IN A new decade worse than any of its predecessors, we’ll inevitably soon be rosy-eyed for 9/11 and Las Ketchup. Get ready to genuinely miss these.

The parenting manuals to make you feel like a shit parent

UNSURE how this whole parenting thing is done and looking for reassurance? These parenting manuals will each undermine your confidence in a different way.

Couple who don't own screwdriver want to buy chateau in France

A COUPLE who can barely put up a shelf have decided they want to buy a tumbledown chateau in rural France.

The dad's guide to hoarding a load of crap

ARE you a dad? Is all that stuff important, easily fixed, or you’ll need it the week after you throw it away? Follow these hoarding tips.

How to be as annoying as possible when living in an upstairs flat

DO you have downstairs neighbours? Do you want to make their lives a misery no matter what hour of the day or night? Here’s what to do.

'Live, Laugh, Love': the inspirational phrases you put on the wall that make you look like an idiot

Did you think it was a good idea to decorate your home with vapid inspirational quotes? These trite phrases are mocking you from your walls right now.

Getting pissed in the park on cider making a comeback

GETTING blind drunk with a mate on a freezing cold park bench is now the best thing to do at the weekend thanks to lockdown.

The insecure man's guide to what makes you look gay

BEING a straight man is all about having big muscles and an obsession with your penis. Anything else makes you look really gay, explains totally-not-gay man Tom Booker.

'No big Christmas gatherings' means 'Big Christmas gatherings', says UK

THE British public believes advice to limit the size of Christmas gatherings means you should have loads of people from different households over.