International

THANKS to the King’s visit, relations between the US and the UK have been restored for - no, scratch that, they are in the shitter again.

THE King and I aren’t just in absolute agreement that Iran shouldn’t have nuclear weapons and my war is great. We’re also as one on these issues.

ONCE again, an assassin has failed to kill me due to my superb reflexes and literally incredible IQ. These presidents just sat there and got pumped full of lead like Biden would.

AT 63, she is a respected actress, a Hollywood icon and an LGBT pioneer. But apparently all that means nothing to the disrespectful men trying to kill the president.

PRESIDENT Trump is unafraid of anyone and ready to pick fights with NATO, close allies and the Pope indiscriminately. But he won’t be challenging these.

AS the world’s angry dad, the US has ruled that since Iran will not stop quarrelling and open the Strait of Hormuz now nobody can have any oil.