International

BRITONS are regarding the riots and protests across Europe with confusion, yet to be certain if they are justified populist ones or bad ones by lefties.

YOU promised I could livestream an execution but now you’re saying I’m not allowed? That sucks and I hate you I hate you I hate you!

ELON Musk has confirmed that he may be a world-class twat but leaving Kyiv defenceless against missile attacks is beyond even him.

WHAT the f**k? Why am I at a podium? Who are all these people with microphones and questions? I thought I was on a Tinder date?

THE UK cannot fathom what connection there could possibly be between Russia, Trump, Farage, Brexit, huge amounts of money and naked greed. We puzzle it out:

THE Nobel Peace Prize has been awarded, and once again President Trump has been overlooked in favour of a nobody. What does he have to do?

THE US is to livestream a man’s execution and promises that, unlike certain other recent executions, the victim will definitely die this time.