Celebrity

BRITISH culture was dealt a devastating blow last night after Cheryl Cole was sacked by Americans.

LORD God Almighty has filed a £6m lawsuit against inflatable glamour model Jordan for bringing his name into disrepute.

A PROFESSIONAL footballer did it with some dolly bird, it has been confirmed.

ARNOLD Schwarzenegger knew his marriage was doomed shortly after the birth of a three-stone baby carrying a sawn-off shotgun.

A THOUSAND years of British legal history has reached its summit in a decision on the privacy of a woman's fandango.

PRINCE Philip will be allowed into Ireland today on condition he calls them all 'Micks' no more than eight times during the four day visit.

RESEARCHERS are to launch a fresh study into what Keith Allen is for.

THE microbes present in TV chef Jamie Oliver's restaurant kitchens are cool and laid-back, it was claimed last night.

GENTLEMAN footballer Ryan Giggs has left his wife for softly-spoken Downton Abbey star Hugh Bonneville.

THE Catholic Church last night beatified Ringo Starr by mistake.