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Bieber late because he was being Taylor Swift

JUSTIN Bieber left fans waiting for two hours because he overran at another venue as Taylor Swift.

The star’s management said it was inevitable that the same person being two of the world’s biggest pop stars would eventually lead to a scheduling mix-up.

But angry parents attacked Bieber for his late arrival at the O2 gig in London, insisting he had all day to be Taylor Swift.

Parent Tom Logan said: “I left the Taylor Swift concert in plenty of time to take my daughter to the Justin Bieber concert and I don’t see why he couldn’t do the same.

“Don’t get me wrong, I would love him to be Taylor Swift all the time, but I am also the father of a Justin Bieber fan.

“He does look great as Taylor Swift though, doesn’t he? Jesus Christ.”

A Bieber-Swift spokesman said: “When he has to be both on the same day it’s always a mad rush after the Taylor Swift concert – changing outfits, redoing the make-up and getting shaved.”

He added: “After having sex with Harry Styles, Justin likes to spend more and more time being Taylor Swift.

“He wanted to have a longer relationship with Harry, but Harry has to spend a lot of time being Jade from Little Mix.”

Spoiled children more likely to become your boss

OVER-INDULGED infants will grow up to employ you, it has been claimed.

The Institute for Studies found that not being told off for hurling Tonka toys at other kids’ heads was the ideal preparation for running a modern workplace.

Professor Henry Brubaker said: “When your boss makes unreasonable demands, what you are really seeing is an unpleasant five year-old threatening to piss themselves in Tesco if they don’t get a bag of Haribo.

“Spoiled children never learn what is acceptable behavior, and consequently grow up thinking it’s fine to rant like an unmedicated psychotic because the store cupboard is out of their favourite colour of highlighter pen.

“They also have an incredible, completely irrational belief in their own amazingness, which impresses shareholders.

“Unfortunately this characteristic also makes them hopeless at business. If more parents said ‘no’ to their children we’d probably still have an economy.”

Office worker Donna Sheridan said: “My boss always demands ‘first go’ on the photocopier and if anyone else tries to use it he’ll spit on them.

“Once he gave me a dead arm for having a better packed lunch and refusing to swap.”

 

 

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