Celebrity

THE Duke of Cambridge has abandoned his wife after bonding with an erotically-shaped coconut, it has emerged.

BRITAIN’S tosspots are still chattering away about their total disinterest in David Beckham’s new range of child.

THE Duchess of Cambridge is to devour a gigantic moose during her official visit to Canada.

SCREEN icon George Clooney split from Elisabetta Canalis because she kept distracting from his vegetable patch, it has emerged.

THE alleged plot to kill Joss Stone with a sword is not one of those dreams you keep having, it emerged last night.

DRESSING-up hardman Sean Bean has taken a crucial step towards becoming the North of England's first living saint.

THE tabloid phone hacking scandal widened last night to include some voicemail messages you may actually care about.

LAST-MINUTE negotiations over Cheryl Cole's television career were abruptly terminated last night after her management team decided to start living actual lives.

PIPPA Middleton has been accused of cashing in on her sister's royal status after ruthlessly hijacking the beginning of this sentence.

AGEING actor Harrison Ford has forgotten his starring role in Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, it emerged last night.