Arts & Entertainment

Normal people mourn the return of Doctor Who

WELL-ADJUSTED adults who enjoy quality programming are mourning the return of Doctor Who to the nation’s screens.

Indecisive true crime fan still has no idea how she'd get rid of a body

A FAN of true crime podcasts has yet to decide on what is definitively the best way for her to dispose of human remains.

Current nightmarish geopolitical clusterf**k has us a bit out of our depth, Eurovision admits

THE organisers of a tacky, frivolous song contest have confirmed they did not sign up for trying to manage the complex political fallout of multiple wars.

16 so-called art masterpieces you could bang out in half-an-hour pissed

LET'S face it, most universally acclaimed works of art could have been done by you after a lengthy session in the pub. Here are 16 you could easily crank out after six pints.

Festival offers selection of acts you would not pay to see individually

THIS spring and summer’s festivals are offering attendees the opportunity to see a collection of bands they may not be huge fans of but offer decent value in aggregate.

10 albums that are best-selling because people are vacant, undiscerning sheep

FLEETWOOD Mac’s Rumours has been named the best-selling album of all time, so well done them. But many other LPs have sold tens of millions despite being f**king terrible. Like these:

Richard Madeley's Middle England guide to Kendrick Lamar vs Drake, and other rap beefs

KENDRICK Lamar has comprehensively dissed Drake on a new track. If you’re confused by this and other rap beefs, who better to explain than Good Morning Britain’s Richard Madeley?

Museums should have pubs instead of gift shops, nation agrees

THE people of Britain agree that museums would be vastly improved by swapping out their gift shops with little pubs.

Man waxing nostalgic about good old DVDs until he tries to watch one of the bastards

A MAN raving about the upsides of DVDs has been swiftly undone by the many headaches of actually trying to watch one, it has emerged.