SCIENTISTS in Britain’s capital believe they are only months away from creating an ordinary point of beer which costs more than £15. 

Following extensive research of pints sold in overseas resorts, music festivals and Kensington & Chelsea, the project team believe a pint which will return only shrapnel from a twenty is within their grasp.

Professor Henry Brubaker, of the Institute for Studies, said: “Our colleagues in the north told us that a £15 pint is a physical impossibility. But we dared to dream.

“Working in purely theoretical terms at first, we discovered the key is thinking of a really big number – larger than most Wetherspoons regulars can conceive of – and daring to set it as a price. Everything else logically follows from that.

“This isn’t one of those visions of the future which will never be realised, like jet packs or living on the moon. £15 pints are going to happen within your lifetime.

“And that’s without factoring in dynamic pricing, which could raise that to £40 for a Friday evening or triple figures during an England game. The future is now and there really is no limit. Gives you hope for mankind.”

Drinker Wayne Hayes said: “This is why I’m glad to live in Doncaster, where it’s still only 2004.”