FIFTEEN-year-old Active J, known in his detached home as Joshua Hudson, learns to live without his gyal due to his cinema antics.
ACTIVE J ‘as da January blues. Coz man ‘as been bare dumped. Lady G is no longer peng gyaldem. Her went off da scale at Active J in da cinema, for no reason at all, innit.
Mandem crew woz watchin’ a film habout a old-school vampire, which woz rank an’ not for Active J, fam. So man put him’s hairpods in an’ watched youtoob videos, innit.
Drilla sed Active J woz scared so man pounded on Drilla an’ Lady G went mental, fam. I mean her woz da most ultra-vexed hever, an’ had a bare deep turbo-rant at Active J, sayin’ man halways ruins tings an’ man is selfish, an’ sum other stuff.
Den Drilla sed Lady G ‘ad left da cinema sayin’ man woz a 24/7 knobhead an’ she ‘ad finished with Active J. But man did not know coz man woz watchin’ da videos again, innit.
Drilla sed man woz a dickhead for upsettin’ Lady G coz it woz a film her wanted to see, innit. So, man texted Lady G to wait coz her ‘ad man’s vape. An’ her texted man sayin’ Active J needs to take a look at manself in da mirror, not just to peng-check man’s hoptics, but to see who da real Active J is, or should her say ‘Joshua Hudson’. Wot? Callin’ a bruv by him’s brand muggle name; dat hurt, fam.
Den in school on Monday Lady G ‘ad moved seats in class away from Active J. Hafter class Miss Jackson hasked wot woz wrong wiv Joshua, coz her ‘ad noticed man woz hactually concentratin’ on him’s work.
Her sed to send Lady G a card wiv a nice message, so man sent a Pigmoon card ting of boss photos of Active J in peng drip, sayin’ ‘look wot u is missin’, innit’. Her posted it back through man’s door all ripped up. Dat woz low! Active J woz low, fam.
Mandem crew didn’t want to hang on da hastroturf, so man ‘ad to hang at him’s detached crib an’ practise Active J gangsta raps habout street issues in da entertainment room on da karaoke machine. Parentdem sed Joshua should get back wiv Lady G an’ mandem crew himmediately, an’ thought them’s cud make man ‘appy hagain by buyin’ man new Jordan’s. It did not work, fam, but man sed a new iPhone might, an’ it did, a little bit.
Dem’s sed to hapologise to Lady G an’ give her a nice present, so her will know man is not a 24/7 knobhead. So Active J Ubered a can of Monster in a gift bag, sayin’ ’Sorry an’ dat, innit’, to her’s house. Gyal guzzled da lot an’ put a lipstick kiss on da top an’ Ubered it back. Man is back, fam!
Man hadmitted Active J woz freaked out by da vampires an’ ting, but not as much as dickhead Drilla sed. Lady G hasked wud man be safe wiv witches? Man is solid wiv witches, so we busted Wicked together. It was peng nang, fam! Man finks Active J loves da cinema.
