This week in Mash History: 'I have a dream of racial equality that will last oh, let's say 60 years' says MLK, 1963

THE achievements of the Reverend Martin Luther King cannot be overstated, with even an annual federal holiday for Americans celebrating his legacy of equality. 

But did you know that his famous ‘I have a dream’ speech initially contained a few caveats, and notably a time limit?

Biographers believe that his wife Coretta Scott King proposed the omissions to transform it into the inspirational oration we know today, on the grounds that prophecies of 2025 were not necessary and orange people did not exist and would never be elected president.

Extracts from the earlier draft read: “Five score years ago, a great American named Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation. Three score years from now, I see a world of civil liberties and justice ending and the US slipping right back to the same old bullshit.

“The Negro still is not free. Yet a world is possible where our great nation can see a black man rise to the highest office in the land. Then, a mere 12 years later, all of that will end for good due to the electorate’s spite.

“I have a dream that we will be free one day that will last for, oh, let’s say about six decades give or take. Do not be mistaken, these sixty years of freedom will not be all fun either. But then it will get so much worse.

“I know the dangers I bring upon myself by speaking out. Should something happen to me, I only hope a shameless opportunist will declare he is revealing the truth about it in an empty political gesture to further a far-right agenda.

“So I call on you, brothers and sisters, to not give up. Fight, make sacrifices and do whatever is necessary so that our country can learn the true meaning of justice. Until they forget it again to ‘own the libs’.”

And so Martin Luther King’s dream came to pass, though future generations will never realise because within the next few years all mention of him will be banned.

Next week: staying in 1963, when President Kennedy began talks with the CIA about an overcomplicated early retirement plan.

Your astrological week ahead for January 25th, with Psychic Bob

Aries, March 21st–April 19th

Just two more and you’ve slept with every mascot in league football. God damn, why must Pilgrim Pete and Pottermus play so hard to get?

Taurus, April 20th–May 20th

My pronouns are he/him. You don’t want to ask about my adverbs, though.

Gemini, May 21st–June 21st

“Have you got any vegan options?” “Yes, you could eat meat again?”

Cancer, June 22nd–July 22nd

A little from Timothée Chalamet, a little from Timothee Chalabee.

Leo, July 23rd–August 22nd

“Now look at them yo-yos, that’s the way you do it. Yes, these look to be the most exciting annual Yo-Yo Championships of the last 40 years.”

Virgo, August 23rd–September 22nd

Can you pay for giant novelty cheques by cheque? If so, the ratio is astonishing.

Libra, September 23rd–October 22nd

Don’t step on my blue suede shoes. They’re the only clothing I’ve got, hence why I’m otherwise naked, because all my other clothing was stepped on.

Scorpio, October 23rd–November 22nd

A little-known fact about renewing your vows is it later means you have to get divorced twice.

Sagittarius, November 22nd–December 21st

The real mistake of the Frasier reboot? Introducing the third Crane brother, Crazylegs Crane.

Capricorn, December 22nd–January 19th

“Quiet! I can hardly hear myself wank in here!”

Aquarius, January 20th–February 18th

All these year waiting to find out who really killed JFK, and when we finally find out it was the most obvious killer possible. His pimp.

Pisces, February 19th–March 20th

If they ban TikTok, what next? Asbestos? Nuclear weapons? Lead-based children’s toys? When will the woke stop their war on happiness?