Sport

AMERICA celebrated last night as the Memphis Ocelots beat the Las Vegas Assholes in Superbowl 50.

THE Six Nations has seen England’s pubs upgrade to a higher class of loud, annoying wanker.

NATURE experts have flocked to the Emirates stadium to observe the extraordinary spectacle of Arsenal FC shedding its backbone.

A 31-YEAR-OLD has left his wife and two children to spend his life with Jamie Vardy's goal against Liverpool.

NEW Manchester City manager Pep Guardiola has announced the positions that all 514,000 of the city's residents must stay in throughout his reign.

LOUIS Van Gaal cannot leave United until he has completed his 380 hours of community service, it has emerged.

AN INSUFFERABLE tit brought his own bowling ball along to the office night-out, it has emerged.

A GAME of football between 40-year-old friends has left everyone involved injured.

CHELSEA captain John Terry has revealed that his legs have worn away to tiny stubs.

DIEGO Costa and Oscar have been involved in a training ground fight lasting over two days.