Sport

DAVID Haye and Tony Bellew, both fully grown adults, are unable to settle an argument about who is toughest without resorting to violence.

MANCHESTER United’s players have realised they forgot to take the EFL trophy home from Wembley, even though it is so important to them.

LEICESTER City’s owners have sacked title-winning manager Claudio Ranieri, the fans of the club and the city of Leicester itself.

RUGBY Union chiefs have been forced to admit the sport is a bloodletting free-for-all that may need some rules.

THE Champions League has returned after a lengthy break and nobody at Arsenal is sure whether they have gone out yet.

ARSENE Wenger has been warned that he has until 2029 to win the Premier League or face the consequences.

LEICESTER City supporters are physically unable to jeer Claudio Ranieri, however bad results get.

A RUGBY fan has insisted that a big rugby event is currently taking place, despite nobody having heard anything about it.

ARSENAL manager Arsene Wenger and Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn are to trade roles in a bid to transform the fortunes of their respective teams.

DAVID Moyes has been urged to tone down his palpable disdain for Sunderland Football Club.