Sport

Chelsea signs contract to stay with John Terry

CHELSEA FC is to remain part of John Terry for a further 12 months, despite rumours that the club was considering a move to the North American League.

Provisional England squad provisionally eliminated from Euro 2016

ROY Hodgson’s 26-man England squad has provisionally lost on penalties to a provisional Spain squad.

Tampon adverts promoting unrealistic levels of sporting achievement

A WOMAN has been left disappointed after her sanitary product did not allow her to play football at professional level, it has emerged.

Spurs carry out controlled implosion of season

TOTTENHAM Hotspur demolished their season at St James' Park yesterday.

Man absolutely determined to start Leicester backlash

A MAN’S social media campaign against Leicester is going nowhere, it has emerged.

Ranieri rides unicorn into sunset

CLAUDIO Ranieri has bid a fond farewell to the city of Leicester before riding into the sunset mounted on a unicorn.

Enchanting football fairytale had better not happen twice, warns Premier League

THE Premier League has celebrated Leicester City’s fairytale title win by warning smaller teams not to get any ideas.

Birth of first child was rubbish compared to this, says Leicester fan

A LEICESTER City fan has confirmed that the birth of his first child was only a minor mood-lifter compared to last night’s title win. 

What’s all this then? ask people with no interest in football

PEOPLE who know nothing about football are demanding to know exactly what this thing is all about.

All life merely a figment of Leicester fan's imagination

ALL of human existence is the dream of a Leicester City fan and will expire the moment he wakes up.