Politics

Who is the wokest right-wing fascist bastard in the leadership race? Our analysis

THE Tory leadership race has come down to a single issue: which extreme right-winger is the wokest? We analyse those left.

'Aspiration Nation' and other Tory leadership campaign bullshit translated

CONSERVATIVE leadership hopefuls are using phrases like ‘personal responsibility’ and ‘aspiration nation’ in their speeches. But what do they really mean?

I'm backing Mordaunt and it's nothing to do with breasts, says Tory voter

A CONSERVATIVE party member has pledged to vote for Penny Mordaunt as next leader of the party,  for reasons entirely unrelated to mammary glands.

The grassroots Tory's list of non-bigoted reasons for not backing Sunak

ARE you a Tory party member who’s not keen on Rishi Sunak for a certain reason that’s unacceptable these days? Here’s why you'll be voting for someone else.

Tory leadership candidates wishing they hadn't spent their whole lives being pricks to everybody

CONSERVATIVE leadership candidates who need 20 backers are regretting f**king over everyone they have ever met, it has emerged.

Tory leadership candidates pledge to cut taxes, services, and throats

THE candidates to become the next Conservative leader have all backed cutting taxes, cutting public services and cutting the hearts out of the opposition.

Tory leadership candidates ranked from 'f**k no' to 'kill me now'

THE Conservative leadership race is on and the entire country will be the loser, because one of these bellends will be our next prime minister.

'Lol', confirm Starmer and Rayner

SIR Keir Starmer and Angela Rayner have released an official statement after being cleared by Durham police simply reading ‘Lol’.

The five types of twat who will end up leading the Conservative party

WONDERING who will replace Boris Johnson? Look forward to one of these five types of awful person leading the Conservative party.

Six sadistic things to ask a loyal Boris supporter

AFTER years of having to listen to smug, triumphant Tories, it’s only fair to get some payback. Here are some ‘interesting’ questions to ask Boris fans.