Politics

WHOEVER is currently prime minister has offered some other minister a post in the cabinet after their predecessor dramatically resigned, it has emerged.

A STUPID man has declared he was the one who voted for all of the current political and financial turmoil, it has emerged.

THE public has been reassured that while energy bill support will end, their mortgages will still be going up by a consoling few hundred a month.

A SILENT Liz Truss is appearing at workplaces across the country whenever a major f**k-up is being corrected.

A TEARFUL public is paying its respects to the untimely departure of Trussonomics, which died earlier today.

IT may seem to the Conservative party there is no easy way out of the complete shitstorm they have created for themselves. But there are.

THE Conservative party has been advised to not even f**king think about doing the thing they are very clearly considering.

JEREMY Hunt is to reassure the markets with a mini-statement on where Liz Truss is being held and the security of the restraints used.

THE time is 9.01am: is Liz Truss still prime minister? How about now? This guide takes you through the next few hours.

THE markets and Britain’s mood have been given a massive boost on discovering the arsehole who buggered up the NHS is back in government.