Politics

THERESA May is head-and-shoulders ahead of rivals in the competition to be Britain’s most ironic prime minister ever, historians believe.  

BRUSSELS officials have comforted Theresa May by reminding her they care no more about her stupid Commons defeat than they did about her idiot election.

BRITONS have agreed that a visit from American's evil president next year could actually be the thing that reunites their divided nation.

THERESA May has confirmed the Brexit negotiations continue to be a ‘gigantic sea of piss’.

THE UK has achieved a significant breakthrough in the process of being done hard by the EU, and can now move to being properly shafted.

REMAINERS have confessed that they are thoroughly enjoying the humiliating collapse of Brexit and cannot wait to see what happens next.

BREXIT secretary David Davis has denied ever having heard the word ‘Brexit’ before and has asked somebody to explain it to him.

DAVID Davis has told MPs that dinosaurs did not demand an impact assessment for the meteor that wiped them out.

SCOTTISH Conservative leader Ruth Davidson has been ordered to drop her radical position of relative sanity and join her fellow Tories in madness.

LABOUR’S elusive leader Jeremy Corbyn has been located playing Laser Quest in Swindon.