Politics

PRIME minister Gordon Brown has warned of large piles of severed heads if thousands of tiny Gurkhas are given the right to live in the UK.

THE full extent of the Britain's public debt last night led to a devastating collapse in the nation's face.

PRIME minister Gordon Brown has surprised Westminster by somehow managing to make the scandal over MPs' expenses even worse than it already was.

TOMORROW'S Budget is expected to include a £1 billion programme to build thousands of houses that no-one can afford to buy.

CHANCELLOR Alistair Darling last night admitted he is not even trying any more after pledging £15bn worth of 'efficiency savings'.

MINSTERS made up a load of lies to try and get Tory frontbencher Damian Green arrested, it has been claimed.

PRIME minister Gordon Brown was last night being urged to distance himself from himself.

THIS month's budget will be the first to be beamed into the House of Commons directly from the future, Gordon Brown has revealed.

HOME secretary Jacqui Smith has changed her name to 'Trixie Beaver', it was confirmed last night.

MPs are expected to claim thousands of pounds for the black markers they will use to censor their expenses claims, it emerged last night.