Politics

DIRTY bombs are nowhere near as dirty as some of the stuff you can get on cable, home secretary Jacqui Smith said last night.

GORDON Brown last night added the attack on the home of Sir Fred Goodwin to the list of things that are not his fault.

GORDON Brown today apologised for not being even more intelligent than he so obviously is.

GORDON Brown last night dismissed calls to surrender his £123,000 a year pension when he is forced to stop being prime minister next June.

LORD Mandelson has been given a resounding answer to his question of who the fuck Starbucks boss Howard Schultz thinks he is.

GORDON Brown last night ordered his minions to fetch him a fresh bank.

PRIME minister Gordon Brown is displaying the classic symptoms of recession, doctors warned last night.

CAROL Vorderman is to head a Conservative Party taskforce to help people work out if debt consolidation loans are really such a good idea after all.

THE government has written to the International Monetary Fund to ask it what its fucking problem is.

GORDON Brown yesterday said he warned of the financial crisis 10 years ago but did nothing to stop it because, quite frankly, he wants us all dead.