Politics

A GREAT many unkind things have been said about me since my resignation on Friday. I have been called dishonest, ill-prepared, deluded and hopeless.

THE British public has welcomed the long overdue resignation of Theresa May and asked Jeremy Corbyn to hand his in next.

THERESA May will forever be remembered as a knock-off Margaret Thatcher who wasted three years fucking about with bullshit, commentators believe.

BORIS Johnson will become Prime Minister because he seems funny, it has been claimed.

EXPERTS have advised that if there was ever an election where voters could throw caution to the wind and go hogwild, this is the one.

HAS voting to remain in the EU somehow turned you into a traitorous, UK-hating fundamentalist, or do you just hate Nigel Farage? Here’s how to tell.

LEAVE voters have confirmed they will be turning out in large numbers to vote on a thing they do not have a clue about.

CONSERVATIVE MPs are hoping to replace Theresa May with someone who is just as cynical and nasty but not really bad at absolutely everything.  

DOCTORS have confirmed that the prime minister’s new Brexit plan is so extravagantly toxic that any living thing that touches it will die.

NIGEL Farage has confirmed that the Gunge Tank on Noel’s House Party was also an example of radical Remainers exercising liberal intolerance.