Politics

AFTER discovering Britain is surrounded by water, Brexit secretary Dominic Raab shares his insights into the British Isles which everyone else already knew.

THE UK is only allowed the Christmas gifts it wanted on a whim in June 2016 whether or not it has changed its mind since, the government has confirmed.

A LEADING Brexiter feels the unfolding chaos of Brexit is going well from the vantage point of his massive house in France.

GEORGE Osborne has admitted to being a political idiot.

CHANCELLOR Philip Hammond has predicted an economic boom after a dream he had about electric unicorns.

BRITAIN is f**ked into a cocked hat because the former leader of the Labour Party did not know how to eat bacon, experts have confirmed.  

A REMAINER'S pleasing feelings of superiority over other voters have been marred by genuine terror over what is coming next.

THERESA May is allowed to keep her position as universally loathed shit-shoveller until the shit is shovelled, the Conservatives have confirmed.

THE ghost of a Victorian child has distanced herself and her era from the cruel policies of Jacob Rees-Mogg.

MORE than a century into the future, the UK is still waiting for the EU to come up with a creative solution to the Northern Ireland border.