Science & Technology

Pope's first retweet is man making love to some cheese

THE Pope has followed up his first tweet by retweeting a picture of a man inserting his penis into a block of Swiss cheese.

Private moon trips to include terrifying secret

PRIVATE trips to the moon will include a horrifying secret that changes everything.

Humans buying any shit with 'immune system' written on it

EVERYONE is freaking out about their immune system, it has emerged.

3D printers 'a total pile of shit'

THREE-dimensional printers are obviously a complete waste of time, it has emerged.

Hawking baffled by electricity bill

LEADING physicist Stephen Hawking cannot understand the tariffs charged by his electricity supplier.

Bank machines to squirt beer

A NEW type of bank machine that knows users' habits will squirt lager directly into their mouths.

Apple and Samsung to marry

APPLE and Samsung have announced the world’s first corporate wedding.