Science & Technology

VOYAGER 1 has expressed relief at being rid of the human race, as it leaves our solar system.

TRAVELLERS on a planned 'tubular transportation system' would be suffocated by human wind, it has been claimed.

TONIGHT'S meteor shower is essential viewing, according to carnivorous alien plants.

RICHARD Dawkins last night singled out one religion for being an enemy of human development and rational thought instead of every last one of them.

SCIENTISTS are visiting Edinburgh to photograph the exact moment at which a festival performer's spirit breaks.

HUMANS experience the world as a sequence of vague backdrops surrounding their phone screen, it has emerged.

THE mysterious humming noise heard around the world is dads attempting to replicate popular music.

THE three-man Mars mission will include one mentally unhinged astronaut.

CAT allergies are caused by all the revolting shit lurking beneath their flawless exterior.