Science & Technology

Software updates cursed by evil leprechaun

A WICKED leprechaun has cursed all of mankind's software updates to fail dismally.

Apple users queuing at home for iOS7 release

FANS awaiting Apple's new operating system have lined up in their front rooms to be the first to download it.

Everyone desperate to try parbuckling

MILLIONS of people are keen to try their hand at righting something massive that has fallen over.

New iPhone can plant your fingerprints at murder scene

THE new iPhone 5S uses state-of-the-art fingerprint technology to frame its owners for murder.

Samsung watch makes you look like a child pretending to be a spy

SAMSUNG'S new Galaxy Gear watch is aimed at people who want to look like they are playing a kids' spy game, it has emerged.

Toast lands on buttered side because everything is shit

THE reason dropped toast always lands on the buttered side is that everything is shit, according to scientists.

Windows 95 buys Nokia 3210

GROUNDBREAKING operating system Windows 95 has bought the market-leading Nokia 3210 to create a technological juggernaut.

3D of no interest since Jaws 3-D

3D IMAGERY of any kind has not been exciting since the 1983 film Jaws 3-D, it has been confirmed.

Scientists discover normal person called Piers

RESEARCHERS have found a man called Piers who seems normal.