Science & Technology

Brains of UKIP members 'hacked'

BRAINS belonging to members of UKIP have been hacked causing them to go mental.

Humanity to be destroyed by boredom

HUMANITY will be destroyed by its need to keep dicking about with things for no reason, academics have warned.

Higgs carrying particle around in matchbox

PHYSICIST Peter Higgs is treating the 'God particle' like a tiny pet, it has been claimed.

Every 100th cigarette amazing

ONE in a hundred fags has a special ingredient that makes it incredible.

Dream-reading brain scans 'a very bad idea'

BRAIN scans that can read your dreams need to be stopped immediately, it has been agreed.

Nokia with broken screen is best phone of all time

AFTER 40 years of mobile telephones, a Nokia with a broken screen has been declared the greatest.

Britain's Olympic spirit preserved in a rat

THE dregs of Britain's Olympic spirit are to be kept alive in a rat.