Science & Technology

SCIENTISTS have confirmed that time travel is achievable simply by picking the desired time and getting everyone to go along with it.

A NEW TV remote has no buttons that completely fuck up the television.

RESEARCHERS into seasonal affective disorder believe it may be caused by everything being dark, cold and awful for months on end.

A NEW website which archives the Radio Times TV listings has confirmed that television has always been a waste of time.

YOUR behaviour when you are drunk represents your true personality, scientists have confirmed.

GHOSTS are a load of bollocks, it has been confirmed.

BRITAIN’S Double Gloucester has won the highest accolade in the world of coagulated milk protein.

THE popularity of smartphones and tablet devices means that looking at someone during a conversation is asking for a fight.

THE British economy is now completely dependent on 19-year-olds playing and narrating computer games.

THE Brian Cox of Earth-161 has confirmed that the multiverse is real and our Brian Cox is a loser.