Science & Technology

MEN can now suffer from a range of exciting new hair loss patterns.

A NEW app will help people find a taxi driver who keeps his mouth shut for the entire journey.

A COMPUTER programme has mimicked a human conversation by ignoring what the other person said and spouting hackneyed, tabloid nonsense.

THOUSANDS of randy, stupid computer owners are at risk from a virus attached to obviously fraudulent emails.

THE new self-driving cars pioneered by Google just go straight to Wikipedia, according to testers.

BRITISH students have asked for their exams to be moved to when it is dark and pissing down.

A COMPUTER that talks in an effeminate male voice is the biggest fear of the over-70s.

MOST people would have sex with basic robots that don't even have faces.

BLOOD transfusions can reverse the ageing process but only if the donors are sexually pure, according to scientists.

THE Angel of the North has vowed revenge against Morrisons for projecting a loaf of bread onto its wings.