Science & Technology

THE inventor of the internet has said that it must remain free of government interference and have more videos with bulldogs in.

HUMAN brains are inefficient sacks of jelly regardless of gender, according to new research.

GIANT lizards from prehistory were just made up to sell toys and books, scientists have admitted.

STONEHENGE was a set of primitive percussion instruments used to keep kids busy on rainy days, it has emerged.

AN ANCIENT virus found beneath the Siberian permafrost cannot infect and control humans, according to scientists with odd monotone voices.

THE Northern Lights are a sign that God approves of gay marriage, according to pro-European Christians.

THE new Samsung smartphone kicks off if you stare at it.

A TEACHER has proved what an imbecile he is by attempting to demonstrate how quickly messages spread on social media.

AVERAGE human intelligence will soon be surpassed by that of a toasted sandwich maker, experts have claimed.

A BRAIN implant inspired by the film Avatar gives recipients an incredibly simplistic moral outlook, it has emerged.