Relationships

THAT sound is a vibrator, and you are listening to your housemate get her rocks off. Here's five other things that unmistakeable noise could be if you try very hard to convince yourself.

A FATHER-OF-TWO who received motor racing and DIY-themed Father’s Day cards has asked his children if they even know who he f**king is.

THE nation’s fathers are looking forward to mothers stepping up and doing something for a change this Father’s Day.

A WOMAN is going to extreme lengths to make people comment on the large gemstone on her finger, it has emerged.

A MAN meeting a date for a stately stroll around blooming gardens without touching at any point feels like Mr Darcy in Pride and Prejudice, he has admitted.

ATTRACTIVE single people in your area desperately want to join your social bubble, adverts are claiming.

FOR a single married couple in the whole of Britain, enforced time at home together has not been a curse but a blessing.

A COUPLE do not know what they did wrong in raising their daughter for her to have opinions which diverge from their own.

LOCKDOWN restrictions needn’t be the death knell for your misguided romantic endeavours. Enjoy some summer lovin’ that will leave you emotionally scarred with these tips.

MOST successful marriages are the result of couples being so physically repulsive they do not have any other options, experts have confirmed.