Relationships

A SOCIOPATH has confirmed that if you cannot handle her at her worst then you do not deserve her at her best, for some reason.

A MAN whose girlfriend has announced she will no longer be eating cheese is having a long hard think about their relationship.

ALL the diners in a restaurant are desperately hoping that couple are father and daughter.

THE nation’s ex-boyfriends have texted offering a token gift and perfunctory, fumbled sex as a marvellous Christmas treat.

A COUPLE are conducting a petty argument by tagging each other in Facebook posts.

A MAN who moans that his girlfriend’s handbag is ridiculously large still asks her if he can put several items in it every time they go out.

A MAN cannot wait for his wife to update him on the latest gripping events in the ongoing saga of what’s happened in her office.

A WIFE who is very bored of hearing the same anecdote yet again is lying in wait to ruin it at just the right moment.

DO your friends already hate you because of how sickeningly loved-up you are? Taking up one of these awful couples' hobbies will really ratchet up the nausea.

A WOMAN only ever romantically involved with utter dickheads believes, based on her own experience, that all men are utter dickheads.