Relationships

A COUPLE who swore they would never be ‘those’ parents have absolutely, definitively become ‘those’ parents, acquaintances have confirmed.

A HANDSOME but obnoxious man is not hiding a deep, sensitive side like in films and is just a prick, it has emerged.

A WOMAN who believes she is a brilliant matchmaker is actually just inflicting misery on her single friends, it has emerged.

TWO loving parents cannot rest until their daughter finds a man who can make her as smug and unbearable as they are.

A WOMAN who only goes out with 'bad boys' is shocked they cheat on her even though it is pretty clear they are dicks.

BRITAIN'S favourite sexual position is watching the television, according to a new survey.

A MAN who thinks he would have been a famous rock star if he had not had a family would not have been, it has been confirmed.

A MAN who has bedded a vast number of women does it by sleeping with anyone and lying frequently.

THE phrase ‘there’s plenty more fish in the sea’ is now untrue whether used to refer to the availabiity of romantic partners or the actual sea, it has emerged.

A COUPLE have quietly decided that neither of them will mention their anniversary ever again.