Relationships

Man who likes 'nights in, nights out' absolutely cleans up on dating site


A MAN who likes both 'nights in' and 'nights out' is absolutely storming it on a dating site.

Being genuinely thoughtful more effective than being a shit, claims man

A MAN has claimed that being genuinely thoughtful and kind is a better way of getting whatever he wants than plotting and manipulating.

Couple laugh about cliché of 'flat pack furniture arguments' then have massive row anyway

A COUPLE who joked about how putting IKEA furniture together would ruin their relationship now have half a Billy bookcase and hate each other's guts.

‘Shape of Water’ fish-man not much weirder than most of woman’s boyfriends

A WOMAN would not have a problem going out with a grotesque amphibious creature compared to most of the men she has dated, she has revealed.

Totally unreasonable girlfriend always wanting to do things

A MAN’S domineering girlfriend is always making him do some pointless thing like going to a local festival or trying a new balti place, it has emerged.

Man who says he’s not ‘into relationships’ not being offered any

A MAN who is constantly telling people that he ‘doesn’t do relationships’ has not actually been offered one in years, it has been revealed.

Couple prepare for grudging parody of romance

A HAPPY couple will celebrate their 10th Valentine’s Day by doing just about enough to make it to next year.

Petrol stations confirm they have plenty of horrible flowers

PETROL stations have stocked up on cheap, manky flowers in time for Valentine's Day.

Student suddenly realises all his housemates are dicks

A FIRST-YEAR student has suddenly realised, mid-term, that everyone he lives with is a total and utter dick.

Man doesn’t realise first date was secret panel interview

A MAN does not realise that everything he said on a first date was vetted via text message by a select panel of his date’s friends.