Relationships

A MAN still asks his older sister loaded questions about her friend Jenny who snogged him for a laugh 30 years ago.

A COUPLE have separately decided to lower their standards for the ideal partner all the way to marriage, they have confirmed.

A MUSEUM dedicated to double entendres, saucy remarks and leering at birds through windows is to open in Leeds this summer.

A MAN was trapped in his house for three days while his wife told him about a thing that happened to her at work, it has emerged.

A WOMAN is deeply disappointed in her boyfriend for not treating a ghost tour in London with the seriousness it deserved.

A FATHER has light-heartedly told his family that the whole fucking lot of them can fuck off only for it to be taken the wrong way.

A MAN can only become emotionally intelligent while listening to Bruce Springsteen songs, his partner has discovered.

A MOTHER-OF-THREE has admitted that her favourite child is the one with the highest per annum income.

A WOMAN has realised that she would never have felt the need to get married if smartphones had been invented.

LYING to children is encouraged in some circumstances, like the tooth fairy and the Easter bunny, but less so in others, like chewing gum being fatal or Candyman. Which are which?