Lifestyle

WORKERS are back in the office, and middle-class workers who spunked thousands on home offices look like dicks. Here’s some twattish things to do with them.

LIKE Eskimos having a hundred words for snow, adult men have a huge number of names for the thing hanging between their legs. Here are the worst.

ABSOLUTELY f**king knackered? That's because you stayed up until the early hours indulging in these pointless activities instead of sleeping.

HAVE you got a car you only use to nip into town with a dashboard that looks like it’s been designed by NASA? Here’s why modern cars are shit.

YOUR greatest achievements occurred during childhood. But strangely none of them are highly valued in adult life. Weep as you remember the pointless effort you put into these…

HI, I’m Nathan Muir. I’m a normally dressed middle-aged man now. But back in the 80s and 90s I looked like a colossal knobhead due to my fashion choices. Here are some of them:

A MAN who has not been on a foreign holiday for three years has seamlessly reprised his role as a massive prick of a tourist.

PLANNING on making a total hash of bin day again? Here's a step-by-step guide to f**king it up good and proper.

YOU'RE trying to have a nice relaxed time in a cafe, or maybe do something constructive. Which bastards plan to ruin the experience for you today?

BOOMERS have confirmed that wanting to enjoy small luxuries as well as having the basic necessity of a home is typical of feckless snowflake millennials.