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Lifestyle

Drinks without coasters on wooden tables, and five other things mums wake up screaming about

MOTHERS hold families together, but even they have secret terrors that stalk their very nightmares. These things scare them shitless.

Blue exhaust fumes and five other deadly hazards 70s kids lived with

KIDS in the 1970s faced death-defying risks on a daily basis, and the survivors don’t like to talk about it. Here are six hazards they shrugged off.

The six things your child will lose on their first day of school

YOUR kids are back in school with hundreds of pounds of new stuff, and the useless bastards will have misplaced it all by 3pm. These things already need replacing.

Towels don't need washing because you only use them when you're clean, and other Einstein-level hypotheses

HAS it ever occurred to you that something every sane person thinks or does might be completely wrong? Undiscovered genius Tom Logan expounds his revolutionary ideas.

Toilet paper and five other own-brand items you'll regret buying

LOVE saving money to the extent that you’ll forego being able to enjoy the thing you’ve bought? Try these purchases.

Britain's full of British wankers: the problem with staycations

HOLIDAYED at home this year? Here’s why you hated it.

Five very strange posts on your local online community group

ARE you signed up to a local community group like Nextdoor, WhatsApp or similar? Here are some of the odder posts that will puzzle you. 

'We've only had five holidays since all this started' says tragic middle class family

AN unfortunate middle-class family has only managed a handful of expensive holidays since the pandemic began.

The things you'll buy from a corner shop because you're a lazy sod

SHOULD you cook a decent meal? Nah, you can’t be bothered so just get this random processed shit from the corner shop 20 metres away.

The five back-to-school purchases that will absolutely bankrupt you

SEPTEMBER is almost upon us which means you finally get rid of your little angels for another term, but it comes at a price – literally. Take out a second mortgage for this lot.