Lifestyle

Picnic voted most stressful way to lunch

DRAGGING damp sandwiches into a wilderness to be bothered by wasps has been confirmed as the most stressful way to eat a meal.

The six most nightmarish weirdos in Tesco after 9pm

IF you’ve ever found yourself in a 24-hour Tesco, you may have been spooked by encountering the late-night shoppers that haunt the aisles. Here they are:

Wearing a mask on a cross-country journey: A fiendish interactive game

HAVE you got the slightest f**king clue when you’re expected to wear a mask after Monday? Take on the messy government rules in this fun interactive game.

The couple's guide to holiday-ruining arguments

GOING on holiday with your new-found freedom? Here’s how to have a bloody good row with your partner, as is traditional.

Age 23 fourth-hand Ford Ka, age 40 people-carrier: your life in your vehicles

GOT A car? Sure you do, and it’s broadcasting to everyone what stage of life you’re at with alarming accuracy. Here are the six cars of your life.

Six of your precocious middle-class child's talents that are costing you a f**king fortune

YOUR delicate flower has gifts that money can’t buy, but getting those talents to blossom carries a hefty price tag.

Pregnant woman planning all the fun stuff she'll do on maternity leave will soon f**king learn

A WOMAN who has been calling her upcoming maternity leave a 'year off' will soon be forced to face reality, friends have confirmed.

The only times a middle aged man should run

MIDDLE aged men are designed for sitting down. These are the only times when breaking into a run is acceptable:

They offer you instant coffee, and other ways to tell the in-laws think you're common

DO your in-laws think you’re too common for their beloved offspring? Here are some subtle ways they’ll let you know.

Shorts-wearing man reminded how splashy piss is

A MAN who has donned shorts for the summer months has been reminded how much urine spashes back from urinals and toilets.