Lifestyle

A COUPLE who have not seen their friends for months cannot wait for them to leave so they can stop sitting in the f**king garden.

HAVE you reached the age of realising how stupid you were when young? These decisions, made then, have come back to bite you.

AN angler's quiet day fishing and getting pissed amidst the wonders of nature was completely ruined by catching a huge, smelly, slimy fish.

THE bank holiday weekend probably means some long-awaited outdoor drinks. Here noted twat Ryan Whittaker gives his tips on how to spoil the experience for those around you.

DID you assume you’d be a fully-functioning, grown-up adult by now? Here are the things you thought you’d effortlessly cope with, but can’t.

PREDICTIONS of a Hot Vax Summer of post-Covid shagging are entirely accurate, according to self-proclaimed love monster Josh Hudson.

AS THE prime ministerial concubine, I have exquisite taste in home furnishings. No I will not show you my flat, but I will tell you what’s wrong with yours.

A MAN who has lost his job, is behind on his mortgage and buys groceries on a credit card is consoled by the knowledge that he is middle-class.

DO you think you look arty and cool in your new dungarees? Your partner thinks you look like an embarrassing twat. Here are some other items of clothing likely to end your relationship.

A WEBSITE has innocently taken a woman through the entire process of buying some photo prints, only to announce at the end that delivery is £5.99.