Health

Skiving work and other activities surprisingly good for your mental health

COUNTRY walks and meditation aren’t the only boosters for mental health. These easy everyday activities also bring wonderful benefits.

How to wank safely in a heatwave

HORNY in extreme heat? Drawn to rubbing one out despite the risks? Take these precautions to avoid scandalous fatality.

Stop having sex with rats: Hantavirus advice that could save your life

ARE you worried about contracting hantavirus? You should be, because it’s tiny and could be hiding anywhere. Stay safe by taking the following sensible precautions.

Middle-aged gig marred by entire audience needing a piss every five minutes

A GIG largely attended by the over-50s was only slightly marred by the entire audience spending most of it servicing their bladders.

Seven British beaches too polluted to swim at and why they're all voting Reform

MANY stretches of British coastline have water quality so poor swimming is not recommended. Here they are, and here’s why they’re voting far-right.

Acne to Zambian fever: An A-Z of ailments and whether you really need to see a doctor

NHS services are in turmoil due to the strike by resident doctors. So should you put extra pressure on the system by trying to see a medic, or can it wait? Consult our A-Z list.

Two-mile queue to register at NHS brothel

A QUEUE to register at a new NHS brothel in Yorkshire which is accepting new clients stretched for almost two miles.

Total arsehole has excellent mental health

A STUPID, unpleasant man is completely unburdened by anxiety, imposter syndrome or any other mental health issue.

All teachers at primary school always pregnant

EVERY female member of staff at a primary school who has not reached menopause is either pregnant, on maternity leave or about to become pregnant.