Health

People who snore are just being shits, say experts

RESEARCH into regular snorers has found they do it because they are horrible people.

Men's health magazines running out of ways to say 'get abs'

MAGAZINES that promote a healthy male lifestyle are desperately trying to find new ways to recommend abs.

England fans simulate effects of altitude with exhaustion and alcohol

ENGLAND fans now know, thanks to drinking through a game that began at 2am, exactly what it is like to be gasping for breath at 7,220ft.

We ask you: What surgical item has the NHS left inside your body?

THE NHS loves nothing more than to send you home with a little souvenir of your time with them lodged inside your body. What are you setting off metal detectors with?

Completely sedentary man protein-maxxing

A MAN who performs the bare minimum of physical activity nonetheless believes it necessary for him to consume three large steaks a day.

Skiving work and other activities surprisingly good for your mental health

COUNTRY walks and meditation aren’t the only boosters for mental health. These easy everyday activities also bring wonderful benefits.

How to wank safely in a heatwave

HORNY in extreme heat? Drawn to rubbing one out despite the risks? Take these precautions to avoid scandalous fatality.

Stop having sex with rats: Hantavirus advice that could save your life

ARE you worried about contracting hantavirus? You should be, because it’s tiny and could be hiding anywhere. Stay safe by taking the following sensible precautions.

Middle-aged gig marred by entire audience needing a piss every five minutes

A GIG largely attended by the over-50s was only slightly marred by the entire audience spending most of it servicing their bladders.