Food

A SLICED, wholemeal loaf of bread contains f*cking raisins, it has been confirmed.

A MIDDLE-CLASS couple are interviewing a shortlist of six turkeys to decide which one will grace their Christmas table.

A MUM’S life is in tatters after she was forced to make her kids packed lunches for an entire week.

A MIDDLE class mum and dad are nauseatingly proud of the fact that their two-year-old likes the taste of olives.

A LARGE pot of 'delicious' home-made soup knows at least 50 per cent of it is getting chucked.

A WOMAN spent hours preparing her own hummus only to discover it was not even as good as the one from Aldi.

TODDLERS have agreed that their favourite thing about visiting grown-up restaurants is going for a poo the moment food arrives.

A MAN has been routinely eating an entire extra meal after his wife goes to bed, it has emerged.

A WOMAN has ended five months as a vegan after a seagull swooped down and stole her chips, she has confirmed.

MATCHA is a putrid green powder that is inexplicably used in a range of foodstuffs including ice cream and macarons.