Food

VEGAN cheese has been cast back into the hell from which it was spawned from, exorcists have confirmed.

BABIES have demanded food that tastes as delicious as the TV remote controls they love to stuff into their mouths.

RESTAURANT customers have told waiters not to waste their time asking if they would like to see the dessert menu because the answer is always yes.

DO you sometimes go to the supermarket under the influence of too much alcohol? Here’s how to successfully shop while shitfaced:

MINIATURE versions of normally larger food items are superior in every way, consumers have confirmed.

WANT to spunk a load of money up the wall on fancy venison steaks just to char them to inedibility? Follow this guide:

DINNER party guests have been kept unaware the bowl they have been served Kettle Chips from was last week used as a child vomit receptacle.

PEOPLE worried about eating chlorinated chicken have been advised to read the label on any chickens that they buy.

A RESTAURANT growing its own produce in full view of diners is only reminding them vegetables come out of the ground and are basically free.

A WOMAN who tells her partner she ‘doesn’t mind’ where they go out for dinner is full of shit, it has been confirmed.