Food

A WOMAN has ended five months as a vegan after a seagull swooped down and stole her chips, she has confirmed.

MATCHA is a putrid green powder that is inexplicably used in a range of foodstuffs including ice cream and macarons.

A LARGE display of pumpkins being used to whip up excitement for Halloween are tragically unaware that they will be disposed of well before the big day.

BRITAIN has agreed that it no longer deserves Pizza Express and will go back to Pizza Hut.  

A WOMAN has found she can cheat her strict diet, by giving blood and then bingeing on custard creams.

A WOMAN has happily filled up on delicious bread in a restaurant without  a care in the world.  

A COUPLE who pride themselves on buying fruit and vegetables grown locally eat only cabbages for eight months of the year.

A MAN has missed the 12-minute window on a ‘perfectly ripe’ avocado.

A SUPERMARKET has offered a full refund after a man bought a pizza with a satisfying amount of toppings on it.

THE average office worker is hit by a sugar slump at least six times a day, not including lunch or the commute, research has found.