Food

A TAKEAWAY is the convenient and easy option. Until certain girlfriends decide to turn the process into a gruelling ordeal. Here's how.

ICE lolly manufacturers have responded to demand for a product that in no way resembles a cock.

A HOSPITAL has admitted the first-ever British man suffering from a debilitating sickness of barbecuing every bloody weekend.

CREDULOUS cretins throughout the UK have managed to convince themselves that shed cake will taste much nicer than normal cake.

ACROSS upscale heatwave Britain, gelato is being served to middle-class families who consider themselves above ice-cream. But is it just ice-cream? Yes.

A MAN who already has a top of the range barbecue is giving a new outdoor cooking appliance the eye while lasciviously licking his lips.

SANDWICH inflation has hit the capital, with independent shops and affluent customers each listing extremely valid mitigating factors as to why that’s okay.

FOODIES are attempting to normalise the idea of cauliflower being the centrepiece of a roast dinner despite it having no right to be there.

SCIENTISTS have discovered consuming pasta shaped like the male genitalia heightens sexual desire and boosts bedroom performance by 150 per cent.